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| Women whose children have been sexually abused Women whose children have been sexually abused often contact us for information and assistance and we are concerned at the lack of support available to them. We believe that in the vast majority of cases the best way of supporting abused children is through an adult whom the child already knows and trusts. In most cases this will be the child's mother. As more women began to approach the Project following the abuse of their children it became increasingly clear that they needed support, not just at the time of disclosure, but for some time afterwards. It is now accepted that many children are sexually abused and that children are in fact more at risk from men known to them than from strangers. A detailed questionnaire completed by 1,244 students aged between 16 and 21 showed one in two females and one in four males had experienced an unwanted sexual event before the age of 18, the highest proportion of abusers were known adults/peers (e.g. family friends, neighbours, private tutors, vicars, scout leaders, babysitters etc.)1. Other research showed the incidence of childhood sexual abuse among women to be high (42% and 54%) 15 - 20% by family members. Sexual abuse/incest is an abuse of trust, and a misuse of the power and control which adults have over children, particularly children in their care. One of the effects of such abuse is lack of self-esteem and confidence. The child may feel guilt, shame, anger, embarassment. S/he may feel, or may have been told that no-one will believe them, or that no-one will care. When such a child is able to tell about the abuse it is important that these messages are contradicted and that s/he is told repeatedly that people do believe, and know that s/he was not to blame. This message is most powerful when it comes from adults known to the child, and especially from the non-abusing parent/s. For a woman to find that her child has been sexually abused is a shattering experience. The first reaction is often one of disbelief, and if other people do not have an understanding of abuse this may seem an unsympathetic reaction to the abused child. In fact there is a difference between disbelief and not believing. Initial disbelief can be a shock reaction and women need time to accept the facts of the abuse. This initial shock reaction should not be taken as indicating unwillingness to believe or protect the child. After this initial shock come feelings which may closely resemble the child's feelings such as anger, shame, fear of being blamed and fear of not being believed. Women need immediate support and an opportunity to talk about their own feelings. The more strength and support the woman has, the better she will be able to help her children. Yet in many cases there is no-one who is there for the mother. Existing procedures are concerned with the safety of the child, investigation and prosecution. Many of the relatively few support services available are focused on the child’s needs and there are few immediately identifiable sources of help for the woman. An additional difficulty is that research has identified links between child sexual abuse and domestic violence. Is there a correlation between child sexual abuse and domestic violence? In 2004 the Women's Support Project commissioned Dr Wendy Guthrie to research the support needs of children, young people and non-abusing parents. Remodelling life in the aftermath of child sexual abuse Addtional information for you to download. Research on Child Sexual Abuse Child Sexual Abuse - How to recognise the danger signs Child Sexual Abuse - When children tell What to do when a child tells about sexual abuse. Working with mothers of sexually abused children. Incest/sexual abuse of children. Working with Incest Offenders: Excuses, Excuses, Excuses. Weasel Words; Paedophiles and the cycle of abuse by Liz Kelly |
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